“I’m going to do what I want to do. I’m going to be who I really am. I’m going to figure out what that is.”
~ Emma Watson
You can get what you really want in your life if you go about it in the right way. Most people have no idea what they really want in their life and as a result they let life control them and end up being bitterly disappointed.
The first thing you need to accept is that getting what you want is going to take time and effort. The reason that most people don’t know what they really want is that they cannot be bothered to think about it deeply. They would sooner waste their time on social media or watching nonsense on TV.
The first step to get what you really want is to visualize your how you want your life to look. To do this you will need to spend some quality time away from any distractions and ask yourself a number of searching questions. There are many examples of these questions in the first chapter of this guide.
Then you need to set your goals properly and create a plan for achieving your goals. When you create plans they will never be perfect so accept that you will need to review them regularly and make the necessary adjustments to them. The most critical aspect of getting what you really want is controlling your thoughts. If you don’t deal with the negative thoughts that we all experience properly then you will never manifest your desires.
You also need to develop a mental toughness to deal with setbacks and keep you on the right track.
How to Discover what you really want
This is going to require you to take some quality time out without distractions. Put your phone on silent and go into a room that does not have a computer or TV. Tell other members of your household that you don’t want to be disturbed unless there is an emergency. Arm yourself with a pen and a few sheets of paper and you are ready to go.
What you are going to do now is to take a look at different areas of your life. We are going to provide you with some questions to ask yourself in the following areas:
• Your Job or Business
• Your Finances
• Your Personal Life
• Your Health and Wellbeing
• Your Contribution
This is by no means an exhaustive list. Once you have been through these life areas you can add others if you wish. But these will give you a great start in determining what you really want. With each of these questions you need to write an answer down on paper. Don’t worry about how you are going to achieve these things – we will tackle this later.
So here we go…
Your Job or Business
• Are you earning enough money?
• Are you happy in your job or running your business?
• Do you need to improve specific business skills e.g. leadership skills, public speaking skills, writing skills?
• Do you want a promotion in your job?
• Do you want to start a home business?
• Do you need to take care of your customers better?
• Are you happy with your company’s career path?
• Do you want to have a different role at work or move to another department?
• Do you need to learn more about your industry?
• Do you like the industry you are in?
Your Finances
• Do you have money growing in a savings account?
• Does your savings account provide you with the highest rate of interest?
• Do you have any debts?
• Do you want to make investments?
• Do you have a pension plan?
• Do you have life insurance for you and your family?
• Do you have complete control over your finances?
• Are you happy with your bank?
• Do you want to learn how the financial markets work?
• Are your taxes in order?
Your Personal Life
•Do you have high self esteem?
•Do you like where you live?
•If you rent do you want to buy your own home?
•Do you take care of your home?
•Do you want a bigger home?
•Do you have a partner in your life?
•Do you want to find love?
•Do you have a supportive circle of friends?
•Do you want new clothes?
•Do you want to start a new hobby?
•Do you want to learn a new skill?
Your Health and Wellbeing
• Are you in good health?
• Do you need to lose some weight?
• Do you need to gain some weight?
• Do you exercise regularly?
• Do you want cosmetic surgery?
• Do you require more self confidence?
• Do you truly love yourself?
Your Contribution
• Do you do enough to help others?
• Do you contribute to worthy causes?
• Do you have good relationships with others?
• Do you want to do community work?
• Do you help your family and friends enough?
• Do you listen to others?
OK now you need to take a look at what you have written on your paper. What are some of the things that you wrote down? Do you want more money? Do you want a partner to love? Do you want to give more?
For each of the things that you listed think about how having these things in your life will make you feel. Write down the feelings that you experience. This is not difficult to do but it is vital in determining what you really want. You need to prioritize your list so the things that provoke the strongest feelings within you are at the top.
If you do not have particularly strong feelings about any of the things that you wrote down then go through the exercise again and use different questions. It is critical that you find those things which really stir your emotions so that you can move forward.
Now that you have your shortlist of things that you really want it is a good idea to look at them again and choose a maximum of 3. This is because each one is likely to require some significant effort and a real change in your thinking to achieve them.
So for example if one of the things that you really want is to start your own business and earn a significant income then you can do this at the same time as losing weight and exercising. If you take on too many things then you are unlikely to succeed with any of them.
